Happiness Does NOT Come From your Manifestation

It is so common to see people fall into this trap within the manifestation community and most of the time we don't even realize we've been doing that.

Abby Cahoone

August 23rd, 2023

The Trap

Let me set the scene for you: You have been doing the vision boards, the affirmations, the shadow work and you feel like you are moving at a good pace toward whatever it is you are looking to manifest. At first, staying patient is easy, and then more time goes by and the doubt starts to creep in; "What if it doesn't come?", "Am I crazy for thinking I can have this?" and so on. You notice that your desire, whatever it may be, is not physically here yet, and of course, you start to get angry, agitated, and irritable. Then you begin to tell yourself "Well when it does come in, I will finally be happy", "When I have that job I will feel stable, I will be able to feel like I can breathe again.", "When I am in the house of my dreams, I will feel like I have finally made it." In this, you begin to put your happiness and well-being in the hands of this desire that you continually notice has not come in yet.

This is such a normal part of manifestation when you first get started, and even for me, I find myself getting stuck in this trap with the "big things" I am calling in. When you realize you are putting your happiness in the idea of this physical object, person, or whatever, you give all of your power away. Your emotions are now being dictated by a belief system that is rooted in "but it isn't here yet" and the cycle continues.

Sound familiar?

How to Avoid it

First of all, if you find yourself in this camp DO NOT beat yourself up over it. It can be so easy to slip into the victimization of our reality. Please remember:

Your reality is aspects of yourself reflected back to you. We only have our own perceptions and beliefs to go off of, that is all we ever truly have and when we start to change these our outer reality, in turn, HAS TO CHANGE. - Abby Cahoone

When you can come from a place, day to day, where your happiness is not dependent on your physical reality and the things that do or do not, show up you sit in the place of ultimate power. This is because you are no longer putting the job of something making you happy outside of yourself, you are saying "I am whole and complete as I am right now. I may not be perfect, I may not have every single thing I have ever wanted, but I can still feel as whole and complete as I am right now. I can still be happy with what is occurring right now.".

If you weren't happy before your luxury car or high-paying job came in, you won't be happy with them. It took me a long time to learn that fulfillment does come from the present moment and finding and focusing on the things that make you feel fulfilled, worthy, loved, and whole. They may not be huge things, it may be that you have air in your lungs, but that's okay. Your permission slip to feel however you want to feel can be literally anything.

This is not to say to ignore the feelings of lack, worry, and fear when they come up.

When it Does Come Up

Because it probably will, and it can suck when those feelings of lack and unworthiness creep in. My best advice is to feel it entirely. Last night I came up against one of the ugliest beliefs I have about myself that I didn't even know I was operating at (for legitimately my entire life, this stemmed from childhood trauma). I never would have gotten to the belief if I toxically affirmed "I am okay, I am happy" through tears. The reason this belief started surfacing here and there and then made itself very apparent is because I have seen evidence of something I have wanted to really start to make its way in. So naturally that old belief system is going "Girl, you aren't worth that." because I told myself that story for so long. Once you look at it, face it, and own it, it goes away. It really does. But not until you look at it and understand, "Okay, I have been telling myself this story for a while, am I ready to let it go now? Do I feel safe enough to do that?".

Self Image Shifting Hypnosis

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It makes sense that those old beliefs are a final boss of sorts just before your manifestation comes in. But by making sure you are not putting your source happiness in this thing you give yourself the freedom for it to come in however it's supposed to, in whatever way is best and most relevant to you.

Be on the lookout for a podcast episode I just recorded on this topic. It isn't out yet, but will be soon!

Until Next time, this is Abby, Signing off!